90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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