Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize