my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize