Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
