One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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