I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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