I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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