Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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