she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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