We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
