It's Friday. Sex?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
