please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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