Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
