Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
