9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
