Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
