Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
