i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have aggressive nipples.
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