you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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