so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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