Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
