I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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