What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
