Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
