My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
