just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
