Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
