are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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