The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
