is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
