I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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