I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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