I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
