wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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