if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
