Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
