was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
only if we run a train.
done.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
