Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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