Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My penis needs a shock collar
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
