Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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