I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
