To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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