She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and she was petting her beer can
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
They have beer where we have blood.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
