Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
