Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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