so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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