Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
