do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize