i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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