Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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