I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
