Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
