Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
