Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
