I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize