Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize