I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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