She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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